A Moment of Choice

Hmmm....

2012-01-28T12:46:00.000-08:00

So much of a whole lot of nothing on my mind. I keep thinking about generally unimportant things that seem to be extremely important to me.

My latest thought? I have no friends, and am not really sure I ever had any. Well, I had one or two. The first one I still talk to on occasion, but she is so wrapped up in a bad marriage and living the life of a junky that I can't handle being around her anymore. She has three kids and apparently sees no reason to put her partying lifestyle on hold.
The other "friend" I realized wasn't really a friend. It was a very sad realization considering I'd thought she was a wonderful friend up until three months ago. Before I begin, I can say that I broke one of my own cardinal rules.... never ever mix business and friendship. Ever.

We rented an apartment from her mother which was located up the canyon. We were readily prepared for the differences in canyon living vs suburb living, and were absolutely willing to face any challenges head on. However, lack of maintenance, and poor property management were more challenging than anything else.

In the end, a friendship (or what I thought was a friendship) was broken, and I was able to see the true colors of my former friend and her mother.

Back to my original point. I was looking on Facebook today, and while going through my friends list, I realized that all of these people; people whom I went to various schools with; were my friends for maybe a minute or two during my teen years. Sure, it's cool to see what they are up to now, but honestly, we never really knew each other before. It's not like I reconnected with a tight knit group of friends that grew apart. Nope, I bounced around too many schools for that to have been possible.

I dunno, I suppose I am just irked by the fact that I have never really had any friends. I still don't have any friends. And I have no clue how I am supposed to get out there to make any. Yeah, I could always take a class or something, but I am so completely socially retarded that I can't even hold a decent conversation with a stranger without making a complete and utter ass out of myself.

Lately I've been thinking about this a lot, and not just because of Facebook. J and I plan on getting married at some point, while I would love to have a nice medium sized wedding I really don't see that as being a possibility. I don't have girlfriends to share the whole engagement/wedding experience with.

Alright, hopping off my pity pot for now. We'll just have to see how things play out. Maybe if we get on-base housing I will meet other military wives/moms that are total internet geeks/gamers.

... I can wish can't I?

~M

Waiting for Spring

2012-01-13T20:04:00.000-08:00

Last week we had the stomach flu going around the house, but now I am thinking the full blown 5-alarm flu is going around. My father has been dealing with cold chills, body aches and pains, headache, and fever, all since yesterday. Today however, he has begun throwing up... LOVELY!

I typically don't get the flu vaccine, nor do my children. Feel free to poke fingers, or roll your eyes, but I am one of the moms who just doesn't think it safe for my children. Besides, the flu vaccination is only effective against 60% of the different strains of the virus or so I read. If it is true, I just can't justify putting my children in a more serious situation for a 60% guarantee. End of tangent....

I am so finished with winter.

The Great Weight

2012-01-12T19:56:00.000-08:00

I said in my first post that I plan on losing weight this year via Weight Watchers. Well, since I can't join the plan until the end of the month I thought I may as well try to attempt eating a bit healthier on my own before starting. However, since the kitchen is stocked with things like shortbread cookies with sprinkles, cinnamon roll dough, boxed cake mix, pasta out the yin yang, and Mtn. Dew (my personal killer), things are going to be tough indeed.

Today alone I have eaten probably 15+ of the cookies, but damn they are good! The sprinkles call me I swear. The only thing keeping me from the cinnamon rolls and cake is that I have to bake them. It's not that I am lazy, I love to bake, but it is the reason I am using to avoid them.

You see, I am not a big eater. In fact I know I don't eat enough, which makes a huge contribution to my current size. I eat maybe one to two meals a day tops. The problem is that what I do eat is horrible; fast food joints usually provide all my meals. Hell, I don't even eat a ton of sweets, but if we have something that I actually do like, I take the word "indulge" to the max. Another big one is Mtn. Dew... oh God how I love my Dew. That is going to be my absolute toughest hurdle, quitting smoking would be easier than dropping Dew, if that gives you any indication of my Dew addiction.

This summer I plan on going back to school after taking a year off (it was a doozy of a year, I had to). I am changing majors from Graphic Design to Culinary Arts. This is a HUGE change I know, but I am only in as deep as my generals, so in all honestly it's not a huge deal. I love to cook, and I really hope that by going to culinary school I will not only learn how to make healthful meals for both me and my family, but have a better understanding of food in general. You may think it silly, but I think knowledge of food is something we all take for granted.

Anyhoo, I plan on weighing myself next week when I can go buy some healthier options to stock the cabinets with. I'll be posting my starting weight and my progress as I go, so stay tuned!

~M

Stomach Bugs

2012-01-07T23:21:00.000-08:00

Yes my lovelies 'tis the flu season, and I'd almost thought we made it through free and clear. However, living in a house inhabited by thirteen people, I should have known better.

My three year old niece was the first, then my ten year old cousin, and most recently my nine year old daughter last night. Luckily it has yet to reach my three month old daughter, I have saturated our room with enough Lysol spray that zero germs or bacteria should be able to 'live' here for about a year. I really REALLY don't want her to have a hospital stay, which she will need if this bug gets to her.

I guess I should explain the whole thirteen people situation shouldn't I? Residing in this house are: Myself, my fiance, our three month old daughter, my nine year old daughter and eleven year old son (both from a previous marriage), my brother, his girlfriend, their daughter, my grandmother, cousin, father, mother, and a family friend that does handy work around the house.

Times are tough for a lot of people right now, and we are no exception to this. To make things easier financially, we all live together. My family is completely out of their minds however, so we plan to move this summer so my kids don't have to swap schools mid-year. Also, when I say my family is out of their minds, this is definitely not a translation of "my family is actually very fun loving, but their silly antics are too much for me" no, it is much worse which I am sure you will read all about eventually.

Until next time!

~M

New Year, New Blog!

2012-01-06T22:20:00.000-08:00

I realize we are 6 days in, but I am one hell of a procrastinator. For instance, I created this blog in August... and only now am I making my first post, EEP!

I've wanted to jump on the blogging bandwagon for some time now. Why? I don't know. At times I feel like I have a lot to say, but other times I think "Who the hell is going to read that?" Nevertheless, read this or not, love it or hate it, I officially have a blog!

Like most people, I do make a New Years Resolution every year. Also like most people, my resolution goes according to plan for oh... about two weeks before I start justifying why it was a stupid resolution to begin with. This year, as well as the past 10 or so years, my biggest resolution is to lose weight. However, this year there is a difference. I am not resolving to run 10 miles a day while on some kind of spinach and lemonade only diet. This year I am not setting myself up for failure by getting in over my head before I have even begun. Nope, not me... this years plan is (Drumroll!) Weight Watchers.

I have heard nothing but good things about the plan from people I trust, but have always avoided it because I am somewhat shy, and didn't want to attend the meetings. This year I am going to put that fear aside so that I can live a healthier life, not only for me, but for my family as well. Oh, and the fact that I might be willing to get into a bathing suit this summer instead of suffering in the heat is VERY enticing. I will be enrolling at the end of the month after catching up from the horror that is Christmas.

~M